Finding a Mentor

From blawgger Nancy Gibson:

Mentoring is a hot topic in legal circles right now . Robert Denny Associates’ December 2007 What’s Hot Report notes mentoring is an effective way for large firms to pass on skills, wisdom and professional knowledge to younger lawyers. Why do new attorneys need mentors to learn these things? CLEs alone are not enough. Let’s face it: there are many aspects of lawyering best learned through experience. Does this mean that if you don’t work at a large firm you can’t have a mentor? Of course not—you can make it happen on your own. You know better than anyone what it is that you need to learn. In my work advising lawyers on career issues, I find that those with the greatest job satisfaction are the ones who take an active role in managing their careers. They’ve thought about what it is they want from their work life and strive to create the circumstances to allow it to happen. A mentor may be a key component of your plan for a successful career.

What types of things can you learn from a mentor?
•Skill development: How do you develop and deliver a great closing argument? Negotiate a favorable lease agreement? Take a deposition?
•Marketing/Business Development: How do you approach the potential client whose business you would love to bring in? How can I become more comfortable doing public speaking?
•Interpersonal relations: How do I handle a client who lies to me? What do I do about that obnoxious opposing counsel?
•Work/life balance: What are some strategies for handling the demands of a full-time law practice while raising a family? How can I balance my law practice with my interest in competitive running?

I don’t know anyone who does all these things well and chances are neither do you. That’s why you’ll probably want to have different mentors for different needs. How do you identify who they might be? Look to people whose skills you admire in particular areas. For example, the rainmaker who seems to have a great way with people may be just the person to look to for advice about approaching potential clients. The partner who has a successful practice yet runs in a fair number of road races could teach you about balancing work with outside interests. In other words, someone who is competent at the skill you’d like to improve. It should also be someone who likes to help people and can describe how it is they achieve what they do. There are competent attorneys who are not interested in helping or teaching and may not have the faintest idea how to articulate how they do what they do. Needless to say, these are not people you want as mentors.

Where are they? Look around. It doesn’t have to be someone from your firm, or even your town. You’ll meet them in court, at closings, at bar association functions, on the softball field, or at social activities. Keep your approach low key. Asking someone “Will you be my mentor?” may give them doubts about whether they are up to what sounds like a daunting task. Instead, try something like this. “Hey Paul, I notice that you seem to do a great job of participating in your kids’ activities like coaching Little League. I’d love to talk to you about how you make that happen.” Or, “Sarah, I’m finding it a challenge to not let it get to me personally when opposing counsel acts like a jerk. I’ve seen you handle those situations very effectively. Would you be able to give me some pointers?” If, after you meet once, you think that a few more discussions with them would be useful in the same topic area, ask them if they are open to it. “This has been really helpful. I do have other questions I could use your advice on along these lines. Do you think we could continue this discussion in a few weeks?” All it takes to constitute a mentoring relationship is for the person to have an ongoing interest in your career growth—no official mentoring title needed. If you follow these suggestions, you’ll ensure a successful experience:

1.Be respectful of their time. Make an appointment and keep it! Stick to the time limit they’ve set.
2.Use their time wisely. Come prepared with a few topics you’d like to discuss.
3.When you’re done, thank them and set up a time to meet again.

When you find you’ve outgrown the need for a mentor in that particular area, say goodbye. Ending the relationship should be a sign of success. Once you’ve moved on, take the time to look around and see if there’s an attorney that you can mentor and return the favor.